Rubida Luna
by Severa1
Summary: Meet two Slytherin seventh year girls, Sev and Iphi. They are obsessive, smart, and drool over the Potions Master. CHAPTER 10: All Good Things...
1. I

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Dedicated to Iphigenia

Rubida Luna: The Sev and Iphi Story

"Sev! Come on, Sevvie wake up! Sevvie, Sevvie, Sevvie!" The dark haired, eighteen-year old shook her roommate insistently. 

"Go 'way!"

As a last resort, the fully awake girl tugged the covers off the half-asleep one. "You bitch!" Sev jumped of her bed intending to tackle her rouser, but instead missed in the darkened room and landed in the hardwood floor. Iphi was already sitting casually on her bed as Sev painfully crawled back onto hers.

Severa Rimmer and Iphigenia Lister were the only two Slytherin girls in their grade. They were seventh years. Sev was still seventeen, only a couple months younger than Iphi. She had dishwater-blonde hair that fell to her shoulders, except a small braid behind her ear that rested against her chest. She rubbed her knee, which she landed on, and glared at Iphigenia. Iphi's hair was about the same length as Severa's but hers was a nice brown. Iphi had a decidingly more pleasant countenance than her roommate; she had a sweet smile that lit up her eyes on rosy cheeks, Severa was pale with a smile that never seemed to reach her eyes.

Severa squinted at her watch, then her eyes widened. "Bloody hell, it's only 5:30!"

"The early bird gets the worm," Iphi replied in her rich Liverpoolian accent.

Severa's lips turned up in a sneer. "I don't consider garden maggots as a morning motivator." Her accent was more of the generic London type.

"Worms and maggots are two completely different creatures," Iphi lectured as she lit the candle on her nightstand. Iphi's shrine to Sir Derek Jakobi (pictures of the distinguished Shakespearian actor arranged in a seamless collage) was illuminated.

"Oh, please, I can't believe you and your disgusting obsession with a man more than three times your age!" Saying this, Severa lit the candle on her own nightstand revealing her homage to Alan Rickman. Her dedication was a less organized smattering of pinups a of the stage actor turned movie villain.

"Hypocrite," Iphi called out.

Severa ignored the comment, continued eyeballing the pictures, and sighed. "Have you ever noticed how much Professor Snape looks like him?"

It was difficult to miss the sarcasm in Iphi's voice, "No, I haven't, even though you've pointed it out about a bazillion times! Personally, if I was Snape, I would take such a comparison as an insult."

"Tish, pshaw, nonsense! At least my Alan can't be compared to Mr. Ollivander! Creepy dude, probably a child molester."

Iphi stood up, eyes wide in shock. "I can not believe you just said that! Mr. Ollivander is a sweet old man who wouldn't hurt a fly!"

Sev smirked. "Who said I was talking about Ollivander?"

Iphi was fuming. "You wha'? Like your big nosed git is so great? Derek has been knighted! Where's Alan's title, hmm? The greatest honour he had ever received was an Emmy! Ooooh, recognize by the American entertainment industry, very prestigious. Derek uses Alan's Emmy to pick the bits of dinner out of his teeth!"

Severa's face became disturbingly stoic. She stared at Iphi and spoke in an inflectionless voice. "You better watch what you sat about my Alan Rickman or-" She reached under her covers and fished around for a bit before she continued, "Mr. Flibble will be very cross…" She removed a plush penguin from under the blankets. She squeezed its stomach, which made the doll's eyes glow red.

Iphigenia let out a blood-curdling scream and ran out of the room. Severa strained a serious face, hugged Mr. Flibble to her chest, and followed Iphi out of the room. Iphi sat on the stairs leading from their dorm, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm sorry," Sev said, sitting next to her roommate.

"No you're not," Iphi whimpered.

Severa pouted. "Mr. Flibble's sorry, too, aren't you, Mr. Flibble?" She brought the doll up to the side of her face in a motion as if it were whispering in her ear. "See, he's sorry, too!"

"No he's not! He's just a stupid, dumb, doll! How can it be sorry? It's just some vessel for one of your split personalities!"

Severa just sat, smirking at her roommate's outburst. "Hey, Iphi…" She sing-songed. Then she really did start singing in her light mezzo-soprano, "You're beautiful, that's for sure, you won't every fade. You're lovely, but it's mot for sure, please don't ever change. Though my love is rare, though my love is true, I'm just sacred that we might fall through."

As Severa came to the chorus, Iphigenia joined in with her rich alto tones. "I'm like a bird, I long to fly away. I don't know where my home is, I don't know where my soul is. And all I need for you to know is…" The duo continued to sing "their song" as they got ready for breakfast and the morning's classes.

Sev and Iphi sat down at the Slytherin table for breakfast. They sat across from eachother and chatted. That's when a boy, dressed all in black, sidled up to Sev. "Good morning, ladies! How are my favourite sexy babes doing?"

Iphi smiled warmly at him. "Hi Jake."

"Yes, good morning, Jake." Severa squirmed uncomfortably as the boy put an arm around her waist.

Jake smiled at the two of them with a hint of a leer. "So, what does a guy have to do to get you luscious beauties naked together in a tub of pudding?"

"What flavour?" Inquired Iphi.

"Any kind you want, sweet heart!"

"mmm…chocolate."

Severa perked up. "How about strawberry?"

Iphi scoffed. "You are such a gimboid, Rimmer! They don't make strawberry pudding!"

Jake winked and said in his most car salesman voice, "They do if Sev wants it. Anyway, I better be off, I have a certain teacher to schmooze into passing me." Jake left, but not with out planting a kiss on both girls.

"Speaking of schmoozing teachers," Iphi said, "don't we have potions today?"

"Yeah, not till second period though. You have Spell Translation first and I have Journalism."

"Well then," Iphi said, "don't want to be late."

The two girls got up and went off to their respected classes. 

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyrics for "I'm Like a Bird" from Nelly Fertado.

Jake appears courtesy of the Naughty but Nice, the Eastern division

Chapter 2… Sev and Iphi in potions class!


	2. II

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Disclaimer: Everyone here except for three characters essential belong to JK Rowling and all associated companies. Severa is mine, Iphi is hers. Quirrell's ghost belongs to Normandie M. If you want to read more antics of Sev and Iphi, read Normandie M's Redemption (It's My Fault…) _they are featured a bit in that fic._

****

In Class

Severa dashed through the hallways to meet Iphigenia in potions before the class began. She always used the back halls and stairs in order to avoid student traffic. She rounded the corner and suddenly felt very cold and she heard a yelp. Realisng that she just ran through a ghost, she turned around to apologise. To her delight, she found herself facing the ghost of the former DADA teacher, Professor Quirrell. "Oh Professor, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there," she gasped.

"Quite all right Miss Rimmer," he reassured her. She blushed at his remembering of her name. "But you have to be careful, you could break your neck if dash around stairs too much."

Severa smiled at him crookedly as she stretched herself seductively against the nearest wall. "Oh that would be a shame, wouldn't it? Unless of course I could always come back as a ghost, unfinished business and all that, and then we could have so much fun."

If ghosts could blush, Severa was certain that the former DADA professor would have turned an interesting shade of pink. "W-Well," he stammered, "no class is worth dying over to be there on time."

"Not when it's Potions," she admitted, "if you're late to Snape's class, you're as good as dead anyway."

"Well, run along then, and you will not be late." He said ever sensible.

She smiled and winked one last time before she made her way down to the dungeons. She was still early for class when she got there. Her and Iphigenia were always the first ones in the room. As it were, Iphi was sitting in their usual spot, reserving their place. The two girls sat in the same spot since their third year and discovered their mutual attraction to the Potions Master. It was the centre row and two seats back. They didn't want to sit dead front because they thought it would have been way too obvious.

So that's where Iphi sat. At Sev's entrance she looked up from her book. "Where have you been?" she snapped a little too loud and sudden. It even caused Professor Snape, who was copying ingredients onto the blackboard at the front of the room, to jump a bit.

He turned around and addressed the pair. "What did I tell you, two ladies?" He raised an eyebrow. "You may stay here all you like before class begins, but you must keep _quiet_!"

"Yes, Professor, sorry Professor," the both mumbled. Snape turned back to the board and continued making horrible scratching and scraping noises with the chalk.

Severa plunked her backpack down on the table next to Iphi's cauldron, and sat down. "So where were you?" Iphi whispered harshly. "You're five minutes late."

"I'm not late," the blonde protested, "we still have five minutes before class starts."

"Yes, but we always meet each other t the top of the stairs…"

"Blah, blah, blah. Sorry so much, it's just that I ran into to someone and chatted for a spell. No pun intended."

Iphi was suspicious. "You were talking to someone? Who, besides me, do you socially talk to you anti-social geek?"

"Well, Jake for one."

"He doesn't count. He's not a friend, he's a sex slave."

"Well if you absolutely have to know, I didn't so much run _into_ to someone, but rather ran _through_ him. So I thought it would be the polite thing to do to stop and apologize."

Iphi was beginning to carch on. Her eyes were narrowed as she continued with the interrogation. "A ghost, really? And which ghost, pray tell, was it?" Sev didn't reply. She just bit her lower lip, smiled, and turned a bit red in the face. "I should of known!" Sev, _why_ do insist on flirting with Professor Quirrell's ghost? Sevvie, he's dead! It is a ghost," Iphi said slowly as to make Sev understand better. "I'd expect he's rather cold anyway."

Severa grinned wistfully. "Yeah, but you know me, Iph, I have a thing for cold men." She gave a meaningful glance in Snape's direction.

"Be that as it may, my friend, rumour has it that his interest lies with Professor Sinistra."

"I could always persuade him…"

"You are a slut, Sever a Rimmer," Iphi commented last before more students flowed in.

Potions class began.

Professor Snape finished writing the last of the day's potion ingredients, and turned towards the class. Sever a melted as his black gaze flicked over the students. Iphigenia sat straighter, wrapped in studious attention (not to mention other attentions). Sev could feel a shiver go up her spine as Snape began to instruct them on the potion in his rich, mesmerising voice. Iphi stared straight head in keen scholarlyness. She noticed Sev's pen furiously flying across her notebook paper. _Good, _she though, _Finally she is taking into decent study practices_.What Iphi didn't know was that Severa wasn't actually taking notes. After Snape finished and let them continue independently, Severa immediately stopped scribbling and immediately snapped her notebook shut before Iphi had the chance to check its contents.

AS the Duo prepped their cauldron, Severa picked up the conversation where they had left off. "I am not a slut. Being a slut involves engaging in sexual activities, and sadly, this is not the case." She gave a longing look towards the front of the room.

Iphi rolled her eyes. "That's because there are laws against teacher and student relationships, not to mention adults and minors!"

Sev's brow furrowed in thought. "There aren't any rules though involving ghosts are there?"

Iphi was sure there was, but didn't want to get into it just then. She looked at her friend and sighed. "Fine, you go off and pretend that you're Demi Moore and Quirrell's Patrick Swayze, while I can stay here and have Snape."

"The hell you will," Sev growled, "He's mine, and you know it."

"If he's that important to you, then why do you pursue Professor Quirrell?"

"Because I think he's cute, okay!? That's it, just cute! Because I find him attractive does not mean he means more to me than--" Sev stopped, finally realising that in her outburst she stood, and was screaming. Consequently, the entire room, including the teacher, was staring at her. She looked about her, eyes wide and mouth agape until she made eye contact with Snape.

"Do go on," Snape said, "You have everyone's attention now." She stayed silent. Snape tilted his head in an inquisitive manner causing a lock of his ebony hair to fall across his face. "No?" he stood up from his desk. "Miss Rimmer, Miss Lister, your conversations have disrupted my class for long enough. Gather your materials and wait in my office for class to end. Then, we are going to have a talk of our own."

Severa swallowed hard and looked at Iphi. The other girl had gone pale. Obediently, the girls collected their things. "Oh, thank you very much indeed," Iphi hissed. "What am I going to do? I've never been in trouble before and now my record will be tarnished," she whined.

Severa scowled. "Oh, shut up, _Hermione_."

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Chapter 3…In Snape's office

COMING SOON


	3. III

In Snape's office, Iphi and Sev sat in relative silence. The only sounds being their breathing, Iphi's nervous rustling, Sev's pen scribbling on paper, and a dripping of water of a source not to be found. Iphi looked around. She never had been in there before. Two of the walls were covered with bottle filled cabinets and shelves. Another one was filled by a bookcase. Her teacher's desk was neatly organised with stacks of papers and books. One of the books laid open on the desktop. Curiosity getting the best of her, Iphi stood, lent over the desk and spun the book around so she was able to read. She let out a laugh. "Look at this, Sev! It's a book about Philosophy! I always knew..."  
  
Her head still bent and her hand occupied with writing, Sev began to quietly sing, "Emanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable. Heidigger, Heidigger was boozy beggar who could think you under the table. David Hume could out consume-"  
  
"Yes, yes, very amusing," Iphi snapped, "as if you haven't sung that song a million times anytime I mention philosphy."  
  
"You mean 'Philosophay'." Sev still kept her head bent.  
  
"If we're going to talk, it would be polite if you would look at me as you do so. It's so iritating, talking to the part in your hair." Since Sev made no motion nor retaliatory remark, Iphi grabbed the notebook right out of Sev's hands.  
  
Sev jumped to her feet and tried to grab it back. "Hey! That's mine!"   
  
Iphi jumped out of Sev's reach. The two girls proceeded in a chase around the room. Papers were scattered from the desk as the rushed around it. Finally, Sev got close enough to grab Iphi by the shoulders, slamming both her self and her prey into a cupboard. Both were on the floor, covered in different coloured potions, playing tug-of-war with the notebook, which remained remarkably dry. "Give it back, Iphigenia! Don't make me have to sacrifice you!" It was during this unfortunate situation when Snape came in.  
  
"LADIES!" They stopped their tugging and looked up, horror struck. He continued in a hiss, teeth clenched. "Is it really too much to ask of you, to sit quietly wait for me?" They coninued to stare at him. "Apparently so." He waved his wand, cleaning up the mess the two girls made. Luckily, non of the potions spilt were harmful, but one might have been a freezing potion because even when he approached and removed the notebook from their grasps, they did not move. He sat behind his desk, placing the notebook on it. He motioned for the girls to sit down in the more appropriate place, and they scrambled to do so.  
  
Everyone comfortably, more or less, settled, Snape began. "It is no secret that you two are among if not the brightest students we have here. You have the ability to excell at anything you do here."  
  
"Except Arithmancy," Severa muttered.  
  
Annoyed at the interupption, Snape glared at the blonde. "That's as maybe, but you are veraccomplished and capable young women, with one problem." He stopped to let them contemplate what it could be. They looked at one another, loked back at their teacher, and shrugged. "Eachother," he confirmed.  
  
Iphi protested. "Oh, sir, that can not be so. We have supported eachother all through our years here! Without her, and she without me, we could not have come so far as-"  
  
"Save me the heart bleed stories, Miss Lister. Yes, I do encourage strong friendships among housemates, but your's is becoming almost a hindrance..."  
  
Unfortunatly, for the good professor, he lost his audience as he lectured. True, they both looked at him fixadly, but his words were not what captivated them. Iphi tilted her head and noticed the weariness in his features. 'He needs a hug,' she thought, 'Then maybe he wouldn't be so grumpy.' Her eyes strayed to the book he was leaning on and contemplated her recent discovery. 'He likes philosophy...wow. We have so much in common it's scary.'  
  
Next to her, Severa was having her own fantasies. 'He looks so much like my Alan Rickman; that nose, his voice. Damn, If only he weren't my teacher! I mean, we are so perfect for eachother! Look at our names: Sever-a, Sever-us; we were made for eachother!'  
  
"....So my only option is to seperate you two." Snape finsihed, and bringing the girls out of their reveries.  
  
"Seperate us!" Iphi yelped. "You're breaking up the best team in Hogwarts historty!"  
  
Severa stood up, and leaned against Snape's desk, hands planted firmly on the top. "Sir, in light of recent events in my life, don't you feel it would be for the best if I remain close to my friends!"   
  
Iphi looked at her partner in crime quizzically. 'What "recent events"?' She wondered to her self.  
  
Snape's look softened for only an instant before annoyance came back. "Sit down, Miss Rimmer. I do not mean to put you seperate rooms or forbid from seeing eachother. All I'm going to do is to make sure you do not sit next to eachother during my classes. A new partner arrangement is in order." Sev and Iphi glanced at eachother sorrowfully. Being seperated, even in that way was going to be hard. Snape pcked up his gradebook and skimmed the names for new pairings. "Why not set you up with a couple Gryffindors?" Severa looked disgusted, Iphi lifted an eyebrow in interest. "Yes...hmm...Miss Lister, you shall be seated next Lee Jordan." The glimmer of excitement in Iphi's eyes was caught by her friend. "And Miss Rimmer, I'll use you to break up another famous duo: Your new partner will Fred Weasley."  
  
"Aaw, but profosser...."  
  
"No buts, Miss Rimmer. This is settled. Now go on, and get out. Bother some other teacher with your shenanigans."  
  
"Uh, sir, can I have my notebook back?"  
  
Snape picked up Severa's red notebook and examined the outside with interest before he opened and began skimming its contents. Severa held her breath and starting going pink as he did so. She prayed that he didn't find the page she most recently was using. Luckily, he didn't , but he stopped at another page of interest. On it was several initials with hearts around them. The majority of them read "AR+SR" or "SS+SR", and even a "WQ+SR" thrown in. He looked up at the blonde girl and snapped the notebook shut, handing back to her. "Perhaps you wouldn't be having any academic dificulty if you used your ledger for class notes, instead of such trivial matters."  
  
"I would hardly call you trivial," Iphi blurted out from behind Severa. and instantly turned colour. In haste, both girls exited his office, practically shoving eachother through the door. 

At dinner in the Great Hall, Iphi and Sev discussed matters and new questions brought up in their meeting with Snape. Well, at least Sev was. Iphi was staring at something, rather someone, across the room.  
  
"I know now you must think Snape is yours now that you have a shared interest. But one little anomaly like that can not...Hey, you listening to me!"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
Sev hit Iphi on the arm. "Jeez, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were ogling a young man who looks as if he superglued his pet tarantula on his head."  
  
"Please, what makes you think I'm doing anything of the sort?"  
  
"Oh, as if I did not notice they way your eyes lit up like the rising sun when Snape told you the aforementioned Mr. Jordan is to be your new partner. I do not understand you. Why you waste your affections on him when there is more wise and mature men to be had." Severa flicked her eyes across to room to seek out the objects of her desire.  
  
"I admire and adore Snape still just as much as you do, but you must see the necessity to look into other prospects."  
  
"Oh, I realise that," Severa said, shifting her gaze from the high table to the Ravenclaw one where a certain ghost sat.  
  
Iphi grimaced and rolled her eyes. "I mean more attainable prospects, not former DADA teachers."  
  
"What makes you say he is not attainable?"  
  
"HELLO! He's in love with Professor Sinistra! I thought we covered this."  
  
"Yes, but Sinistra is getting married. Our dear, sweet, Professor Quirrell will need someone to help him through such heartbreaking times. And I will be waiting with open arms to comfort him."  
  
"I think your imagination is running away from you again. Besides, where did this new found devotion to Quirrell come form?"   
  
"Well you see, a few nights ago..."  
  
"Yes?" Iphi urged her to go on.  
  
Sev shook her head. "No, I promised this was to be kept between myself, Snape, and Quirrell."  
  
Now Iphi was extremely curious. "Oh, what?! Is it the 'recent events' you mentioned in Snape's office?"  
  
"You will not hear it from me, Iphigenia Lister! If you do not mind, have some things to attend to." She took out her red notebook and began writing again.  
  
Iphi watched her and mocked, " 'My darling Professor Quirrell, I can never love another such as you. Your cold, clammy touch sends indescrible shivers up my spine, and a distinctive heat in my-' " Sev stopped her from continuing with a sure hit across the head with the notebook.  
"Well, if what I estimate is not true, let me see it!"  
  
"No," Severa smirked, ''It's to be a surprise." 

********************************

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To understand a bit of this story, you ought to read "Redemption" by Normandie M. Oddly enough, they're almost sister stories.

Well, Sev belongs to me, Iphi use to belong to herself, but sold her souls to me for a cola. I also own George's soul for lending him money to go see LOTR. But Quirrell's Ghost(and his first name being "Wilton" belongs to Normandie) even though the character of Quirrell belongs to J.K. Rowling. 


	4. IV

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Disclaimer: One a should have given earlier...The names Rimmer and Lister belong to the being known as Grant Naylor. All hail they who have created "Red Dwarf"!

A/N: Events in this chapter pertain to its half-sister story "Redemption" by Normandie M. So if you want to get the whole story and know what was in that letter, go read hers story, though I'm sure the chapter "To Sir, With Love" will be of greatest interest.

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Plus, to understand Iphi's mug, go look up the story with the same name...

****

In The Girls' Room

Iphi rummaged through her bureau drawers again, sighed, and opened the wardrobe door to reveal the full-length mirror. She practiced several posses and flirtatious expressions at her reflection. Not overly pleased with what she saw, she started undressing. Only a few feet away, Severa sat on her bed with a book in her lap. She read diligently except every now and again looked up to see what new ensemble her roommate put together. "Bloody hell, that's our fifth outfit! You'll be wearing a coat over it anyway when your outside, so why does it matter?"  
  
" It helps when at least *I* know that I'm looking absolutely gorgeous underneath. Lord, Sevvie, you are so superficial!"  
  
Severa let out a snort. "Oh, Speak! And tell me, why are you suddenly interested in going to a Quidditch match? I'm sure it has nothing to do with a certain dredlocked announcer."  
  
" I'll have you know, Miss Uninformed, it's Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw tonight, and I want to support our team. Just because you are so anti-sports that you lack any house spirit..."  
  
"Well, there's one Spirit I wish I wasn't lacking," Severa replied dreamily.  
  
Iphi wrapped a scarf about her neck and scoffed. "That isn't what I meant, and you know it."  
  
" I know what you meant, I just don't care. Go run along so you may dream that every word uttered over the PA system is meant for you. Mmm...such a smooth, chocolaty voice!" Iphi chucked a pillow at Sev for good measure before she headed for the door. Sev returned to the book she was reading ("The Hobbit") and Iphi could hear her quoted yelps of "Struck by lightening, struck by lightening!" as she made her own way to the common room. 

No matter what Sev thought, Iphi did enjoy being out sitting in the Quidditch stands. The brisk breeze made her cheeks rosy, and the rest of her was kept warm by her layers of clothes and the heat emitted by the crowd of fellow Slytherins. Even though Sev was right with her initial reason for being at the match, Iphi couldn't help but feel the anticipation of the crowd and join in with their cheers and shouts. But as a familiar voice resonated, disembodied, Iphi immediately clamped her yap.  
  
"Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen, Witches and Wizards, Slyths and Ravens!" A wild roar burst out as each house was recognized.  
  
Iphi knew the match started already, but she didn't care. She closed her eyes and tried to drone out the vicious calls of her housemates at "bad calls" against their team. She desperately tried to focus on the sound of Lee Jordan's voice. It didn't matter what he was saying. He could have been commentating a Quidditch match, giving a sermon, or quoting Plato for all she cared.   
  
For once, she was truly glad that her friend had no love of sports. If Sev was there, all Iphi would hear would be snide and sarcastic comments about where Iphi's mind was. "Bugger all and blast her," she thought, "at least I can appreciate blokes my own age and that are actually alive."   
  
Before she knew it though, the game was over. "Ravenclaw wins!" Lee announced animatedly. While the other Slytherins hissed and booed, Iphi just jammed her fuzzy earmuffs back on (seeing that hearing was no longer that important) and pushed her way out of the stands.  
  
It was dark by the time everyone made it back to the castle and Iphi entered the Slytherin commons. Disappointed by the game's turn out, everyone pretty much just sauntered off to bed to bitch and mope with their roommates about how unfair Hooch is. Iphi decided to hold a far more pleasant with her roommate, even if Sev couldn't care two licks about how wonderful Lee Jordan was. Upon entering her room, Iphi quickly changed her mind. Severa's conditioned looked as if any pleasant conversation would be very unwise. Sev was sitting on her bed, pretty much as Iphi had left her; 'The Hobbit' was even open in her lap yet. But Iphi doubted that any words on those pages were actually being read. Sev was crying. Her hair was mussed as if frantic fingers combed it through. Her face red and blotchy, nose a bit runny, and wet, red eyes completed the heinous look.  
  
Iphi flung off her scarf, muffs, and coat, and immediately went to her friend's side. "My God, Sev. What is it?" The blonde just sniffed and shook her head. "We're going to talk about this."  
  
"No we're not," Sev demanded, "You're just going to go all 'I told you so' on me."  
  
"Oh, come on, please. I can't have you like this." She put her arms around Sev's shoulders. "Come on, I'll make hot chocolate, get you some more tissue, and we can have a well needed girl-talk."  
  
Before Sev could protest, Iphi hopped up off the bed and went rooting through her trunk. She pulled her head out of it with an "Aha!" and displayed the two packs of chocolate powder and a kettle. Sev watched her from her bed, still sniffing, but being slightly amused by Iphi's efforts. Iphi went into the bathroom, then back out with the kettle filled with water, She set it down on Sev's nightstand, careful not to disturb the Alan Rickman shrine, tapped it with her wand and the kettle began heating up. Iphi then took out two mugs, a white one with the words 'Odi et Amo' written on it in black with black and red hearts printed on it, the other was plastic and shaped to resemble the head of C-3PO. The android one was Sev's.  
  
Everything finally prepared; Iphi handed Sev her steaming mug. "Okay, woman, spill it".  
  
Sev took a sip and sighed. "I don't know if I..."  
  
"Of course you should! Sev, hello, best friend sitting here! You cry, I make Co-Co, we talk. It's the law of the world."  
  
"You're just going to get all 'I-told-so-y' on me."  
  
"Damn it, Sev, tell me or I'll take Mr. Flibble away from you."  
  
"Okay, okay. Well, it has to do with Quirrell."  
  
Iphigenia groaned. "Oh, God, what did you do?"  
  
Sev bit her lip in embarrassment. "Well, I sort of wrote him a love letter..."  
  
"SEV!!"  
  
"I never intended for him to read it! It was just a flight of fancy thing, you know? Well, after you left for the Qudditch match, how'd that go anyway?"  
  
"That's off topic."  
  
"Sorry. Anyway, I realised I no longer had it, and further realised that I must have dropped it during Astronomy. So I crept up to the tower. I didn't think anyone would be up there, let alone *him*."  
  
"Oh, Sevvie." Iphi put her arms around her friend as she began to choke on tears. "I'm guessing it didn't go over very well, did it?"  
  
"No," Sev sobbed. "He'd read it. He was very polite and sweet about everything, very gentlemanly. Oh, I'm not mad at him, I'm mad at myself for being so stupid."  
  
"You're not stupid, Sev, just romantic. Okay, maybe a romantic fool, but you're not stupid."  
  
After a couple seconds of further sniffling on Sev's part, she suddenly broke out into laughter. Startled, but not wholly unused to Sev's abrupt mood changes, Iphi asked, "What is it?"  
  
"Well, at least it wasn't *all* for nothing!" The combined tears and laughter were starting to make her hiccup as she spoke. "Let's just say your suspicions were correct: He is rather cold."  
  
Iphi's eyes were reading to pop out of her skull. "What's that suppose to mean?"  
  
"Let's just say I didn't let him get away without at least a couple snogs!"  
  
"I don't believe you!"  
  
"Well, I would say go ask him, but he would deny it." The tears were drying and Sev's love of teasing Iphi could outweigh her heartbreak.  
  
"You are total, total...a word has yet been invited to describe whatever you are, but you are one, and a total, total one at that. Bloody hell, was that letter the thing you've been scribbling in that precious notebook of yours?"  
  
"What? Oh, no, that's not it."  
  
"What is it then?"  
  
"I told you, it's a surprise. Now shush, and tell me how the game went."  
  
"One, I can't do both. Two, since when were you so interested in the Quidditch matches?"  
  
"Since when were you?" Sev asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"I can tell you that if you can tell me *when* you became so interested in Quirrell in the first place."  
  
"Ha! I can tell you that, exactly! Remember the 'recent events' I brought up in Snape's office?"  
  
"Yeah..." Iphi had been wondering what that was all about ever since she mentioned it.  
  
"Well, a few nights ago, I was attacked by a group of boys."  
  
"You what! And you didn't tell me?!" She jumped on her friend's bed and grabbed her by the shoulders. Iphi's concern won out over logic in her next speal. "What happened? Are you okay? Well, of course you're okay. Who did it? Did you know them? Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. If you'd be so kind as to release me from your vice grip, I will answer all your questions. No, I don't know who they were. Other Slytherins I'm guessing. Well, they had me cornered in a classroom. It was Quirrell who must have heard my cries. He came and dispersed those monsters. He took me to see Snape. I told them what happened. Then Snape took five points away from me for being up around the castle after hours. Well, I must say it had to have been that night I fell for Quirrell. I mean, wouldn't you feel something for the man who rescues you in your darkest hour? It's a story of chivalry I thought I would never experience!"  
  
"Given your sentiments, I suppose I understand finally that strange attraction to the ghost. Still, you didn't answer the most important question: Why didn't you tell me?!"  
  
"I thought you would overreact!"  
  
"Ah, touché."  
  
"Now," Sev said, sitting up on her knees, "you're turn to tell. Why the sudden interest in Quidditch? As if I couldn't already guess."  
  
Iphi fought hard not to blush. "I can assure you that it has nothing to do with Lee Jordan!"  
  
"Who won?"  
  
"Ravenclaw."  
  
"What is the name of the Ravenclaw seeker who caught the snitch?"  
  
Iphi flummoxed. Did Sev really trap her? "Oh hell, how am I suppose to remember the name of the weasel of the seeker of the other team?" Smooth  
  
"Because I'm sure his or her...is it a boy or a girl? I dunno..." Sev's smile went wicked again. "You should have been able to tell that much if you paid an ounce of attention!"  
  
"Well, I just don't care about that stupid team. So there. I'm tired, I'm going to bed!" She hopped off the bed and began to change out of her clothes and into her night gear. To tell the truth, it wasn't much in the way of clothing. She slept only in her T-shirt that said "Carpe Noctem", and her knickers.  
  
As Iphi bent over to fix her bed up, her yellow panties with a smiley face on the back showed. Sev laughed and began to sing "I see London, I see France, I see-"  
  
"Yes. very mature!"  
  
"You never answered my question, you know."  
  
"I know." She laid down and pull the covers over herself. She blew out the candles and ignored Sev's soft singing of "Lee and Iphi sitting in a tree..."


	5. V

It was a lazy Sunday morning. Iphigenia and Severa sat on their beds, still in their pyjammas. Iphi was doing some homework whilst Sev continued reading her novel. Out of nowhere, Severa began, "I had a really weird dream last night."  
  
Without looking up, Iphi replied, "Oh? What about?"  
  
"Well, first it started off with me being in a theatre class, which by the way I think Hogwarts should have. I mean we could put on fabulous productions!"  
  
"Your digressing..."  
  
"Yes, well anyway. You'll never guess who our teacher was! It was Alan Rickman himself! And he was so cool, he knew all about how I am obsessed with him and he was all okay with it." She sighed, "He's so great."  
  
"That's it, that's what your dream was about? The way you made it sound important I had hoped at least it involved you marrying a rather unlikely candidate."  
  
"Hang on Miss Lister, there's more! This next part involves you!"  
  
"Beginning to not want to know..."  
  
"So, after my theatre class, I met with you. We were on our way to one of our other classes, can't be sure what specific one. Anyway, we were discussing that we should breakup with our boyfriends because, get this, we were dating teachers! And we were concerned that we would be found out, getting us expelled and our beloveds fired!"  
  
"What did you _eat_ before you went to bed?"  
  
"Hush, I'm not done yet. Well, here's where it gets weirdest. The teacher you had to breakup with was...Binns!"  
  
Iphi's mouth went agape and protested, "What?! That is so wrong! I cannot even tell you...what is wrong with you?"  
  
Severa wiggled her eyebrows, "I don't know, Iphi, my subconscious picked up on _something_ involving you and him. But, I haven't told you the teacher I was dating! This is the best part, better than my A.R. teaching theatre! My beau was none other than the moody, black-haired one himself!"   
  
"That is so like you, having a dream where I get the short end of the stick and you prance off with your dream man."  
  
"Come on, I don't choose what I dream about. Besides, if I dreamt about what you wanted, it would have to involve Lee Jordan. I for one do not wish to dream about him."  
  
To hide her blushing, Iphi grabbed a pillow and flung it hard at Sev. Sev looked completely insulted, but threw the pillow right back to its owner. The two engaged in a rather violent pillow-fight for the rest of the morning. 

Monday, and the girls were back in class. It was their first day of separation during potions class. For the first time, Severa found herself glaring at Snape instead of leering. She was also glaring over in the direction of Iphi and her new table partner, Lee Jordan. The two of them were chatting like it was nobody's business. Iphi was giggling, tossing her hair, and in other words doing everything that was making Sev sick. Getting disgusted, she returned to angrily chopping her Ent roots.   
  
"Bloody viper, has no business tryin' to get with a Gryff," mumbled a disgruntled Fred next to her.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Sev raised an eyebrow, "What did you just refer to my friend as?"  
  
"You're all vipers, asps, cobras, you name it. You bloody Slyths don't know how to keep to your own business and stay out of trouble. Look at that friend of yours. Like the serpent in the garden, trying to seduce."  
  
Severa was getting indignant. "Well, I don't see Mr. Jordan pushing her away exactly."  
  
"It's that charming ability all snakes have."  
  
"Yet, is it not the men with the pipes who charm the snakes?"  
  
"Even then, the snake can turn on it's master, like a traitor."  
  
"Perhaps the master deserves it." That seemed to shut him up for a while. Sev smiled smugly, then turned back to her chopping.  
  
But it seemed Fred had more to say on the matter after all. "You know, I'm not enjoying this anymore than you are. Can't joke around with George; have to deal with your bitchyness. It's all that damn professor's fault."  
  
"You shouldn't complain too much. After all, being paired with me just might help your grade."  
  
Fred scoffed. "Right. Everyone knows the real reason why you do so well in this class. That you have it off with him any chance you get!"  
  
That last one boiled Severa's blood. Not only was it an insult to her intelligence, it was an insult to her Snape's integraty. She clutched her knife. "Well," she said in a forced whisper, "if you seem to know so much about snakes, you should know not to upset one, if you don't want to get BITTEN!" With that she plunged the knife into the hand Fred had resting on the tabletop. His scream of pain did not go unnoticed.  
  
"AAARGH. Crazy, Psycho-bitch!" He gasped from the intense pain in his hand. Some students distanced themselves from the blood coming out of his hand; others tried to get a better look.  
  
Snape quickly pushed past the throng of teenagers get to the Sev and Fred's table. It's very rare indeed for Snape to be shocked about anything, but the expression on his face when he saw the impaled hand and the stoic form of Severa sitting next on was of great surprise indeed. Snape grabbed the knife handle and drew it out. Fred gritted his teeth as he did so. "Hurry," Snape told the boy, "get to Madame Pomfrey, use your robe to put pressure on the wound."  
  
Fred immediately ran out of the room, his brother not far behind. The other students watched him leave, then turned back to the quiet Severa fearfully. Snape was staring at her too as he ordered the rest of them out of the room. Iphi hesitated for a moment, wanting to understand her friend's actions, but was gently tugged away by Lee. 

Iphi left the dungeons on Lee's arm. Her confusion of the situation turned to tears. What brought it on? What could Sev have been thinking? Would she get expelled? Is Fred okay?  
  
"I knew that friend of yours was a bit out there, Iphigenia, but I never thought she could do something like this!"  
  
"Well, _your_ friend must have done something to make her go off like that!"  
  
"Whatever it was, it certainly wasn't stabbing her!"  
  
"You don't know her! She's never done anything like this before! Sure she's talked about how she would like to stab a couple people, but everyone once in a while talks like that, nothing serious!"  
  
"I think she needs mental help, seriously."  
  
"NO she doesn't!" Iphi pushed Lee away from her. "You don't know her! You don't understand!" She ran off down the hall, sobbing.  
  
Lee ran after her, "Iphi, wait!" 

"What the hell were you thinking, Rimmer?"  
  
Severa flinched as Snape shouted at her. She blinked a couple times, trying to remember. "I wasn't, sir."  
  
"Obviously. Do you have any idea what could happen to you now? You have seriously attacked another student. You can get expelled for this!"  
  
"I...know." Finally tears started welling in her eyes, and she coughed as the familiar pain rose in her throat.   
  
"I have come to expect many things from you, Miss Rimmer, but never this. How could you be so stupid, do you something so drastic when you are almost on your way out of this school?"  
  
"Fred...he...he...said."  
  
"I don't care what Mr. Weasly's words were. You know better! You are a bright girl who should know when violence is truly necessary. You have severely disappointed me."  
  
Severa was openly crying now, heavily, drawing deep gasps to just continue breathing. "Professor, I am so-"  
  
"Sorry will not be good enough this time, Miss Rimmer. And there is no way something like this can be kept from the Headmaster. I don't doubt that we will be hearing from him soon."  
  
Severa shuddered in her intense sobs and managed to look up through her blurry, tear-filed eyes. She whispered hoarsely, "What's going to happen to me?" 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_Hey, check it out, Cliff hanger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What do you think will happen?_


	6. VI

__

A/N: Woo Hoo! No longer have to bite your nails wondering what the outcome of that cliffhanger is! Ah, and for those who remember Sevvie's dream from the last chapter. It's actually based off a dream I had a month ago. The only thing different is that it took place at my real school and it was my friend, Anna, and the Chemistry teacher, not Iphi and Binns. J 

****

VI

Iphi sat in her room, biting her lower lip nervously. It had been three hours since potions class and still no sign of her dear friend, Severa. Iphi could not fathom what had happen. She just knew that whatever the outcome was it wasn't faring well for Sevvie.  
  
Suddenly the dorm door opened and Severa walked in, head dead. "Oh my goodness!" Iphi jumped off the bed and got Sevvie in a big hug. "I thought they sent you to Azkaban, executed you, or at least expelled you!" Sev looked at her glumly. "Oh, they expelled you! No no no no no no!"  
  
Severa patted Iphi on the back. "Calm down, I'm not leaving...technically."  
  
"Technically?"  
  
"A compromise has been made. It was rather nice how Professor Snape tried to defend me and keep me from being expelled. Anyway, here's my punishment: A week of isolation from the rest of the student body. I'll have classes after normal hours making all the teachers cranky you can imagine, and be put under Snape's direct responsibility."  
  
Iphi looked confused. "What does that mean?"  
  
Severa sighed. "More or less, he's my warden. He has to get me up, make sure I'm in my room and candles out by my curfew, and that I don't sneak off to see you or anyone else. With one exception."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Severa grimaced. "During the week I have to see Fred Weasley and apologise."  
  
Iphi's eyes grew wide. "You've never apologised to a Gryff in your life!"  
  
"And it's not starting now!"  
  
"But if you don't see him during your week, then what?"  
  
"Expelled."  
  
Iphi shook the blonde violently. "Idiot! Then just do it! Why throw the rest of your school year away because of your pride?"  
  
Sev moved away from Iphi and started to pack up some of her belongings. "Look, Snape and Dumbledore said I had one hour to get back down there. I don't have time to discuss this. Look on the bright side! For one week you can go off snogging Lee Jordan without having to hear me nag about it!"  
  
Iphi smiled. "You're right, that is a blessing." She stopped Sev for one more hug before she left for the dungeons. "See you in a week. And apologise to Fred for pity's sake!"  
  
Sev scowled and left the dorm room. 

~~~~~~~~~

With her bag slung over her shoulder, Severa for the first time begrudgingly went to meet Snape. He was standing outside the classroom, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently. Without a word he turned and led her down a corridor she had never been to. They stopped in front of a rather gnarled looking wooden door. He turned and finally spoke.  
  
"You will be woken at five a.m. every morning. A house elf will bring you breakfast. During the morning hours you are not to leave your room. If you decide to take those opportunities to sleep just be aware your lunch is scheduled at noon. If you are not awake then, you will get none. I have third period free. Then you will have your first class. At three o'clock will start your other classes. Your room should be void of any light by 10 o'clock." Severa opened her mouth to protest, but Snape held up his hand and continued, "It doesn't matter if you have homework yet, that's just too bad. Besides your teachers you are not suppose to see anyone, unless you feel up to talking to a certain Mr. Weasley."   
  
He abruptly opened the door and Severa got her first glimpse of her virtual cell. Dark, small, one bed, no windows, a lopsided table, and a few cobwebs and molds. Severa grimaced. "Nice to see you fancied it up for me."  
  
"This is the best you get in a half-hour. It's only a week Miss Rimmer, tough it out."  
  
"Is that what you have to tell yourself?"  
  
"More or less." 

~~~~~~~~~~~`

Iphi sat alone at the Slytherin table, greatly grieving the loss of her best friend. She wished interhouse table sitting was allowed. She looked over at the Gryffindor table trying to catch Lee's eye. He was sitting with the Weasley twins and Iphi couldn't help but wonder if they were convincing their friend to stop seeing her. George looked up from their conversation and spotted Iphi looking their way. He nudged Fred and stood. Lee turned around and pulled on George's arm and Iphi could see his mouth form the word: "Don't".  
  
Wanting to avoid a confrontation, Iphi stood herself and headed for the Great Hall doors. Just outside them and thinking she was free, someone tugged on her robe and forced her to stop. It was Fred and George. "So, where's your little friend?" George asked. She normally couldn't tell the two apart but the one with the bandage on his hand was obviously Fred.  
  
"You know damn well were she's at."  
  
"As far as we care she could be thrown in a dank hole and left there forever. We want nothing to do with her, or you," Fred piped in.  
  
Iphi lifted an eyebrow. "Then why are you speaking to me?"  
  
This seemed to dumbstruck the twins for a second. "Listen, you," George finally continued, "we think it would be in everybody's best interest if you stated away from Lee."  
  
"Who are you to tell me-"  
  
A familiar shadow passed over them. All three looked and saw Snape standing near by. "I would have thought," Snape said, approaching, "the you would have learnt your lesson in dealing with Slytherins."  
  
Fred and George scowled. Made some threat under their breaths and sulked off. Iphi gave a grateful smile to her house head. He nodded and started off.  
  
"Professor, wait!"  
  
Snape stopped in his tracks and turned. "Yes, Miss Lister?"  
  
Iphi swallowed. "I was wondering if you could tell me how Sevvie's holding up."  
  
Snape narrowed his eyes. "She's surviving, though I doubt I will after our first private lesson in about five minutes."  
  
Iphi smile turned cheeky. The phrase "private lesson" made her blush and eye him strangely. He finally realised his wording and the look on the girl's face. He rolled his eyes. "Miss Lister, are you and Miss Rimmer at all capable of _not_ twisting everything I say into some sort of puerile, insinuative joke?"  
  
Iphi thought hard about that one. She shook her head. "I don't think so, sir."  
  
Snape sighed. "What have I gotten myself into?" he grumbled heading back to collect Severa.  
  
Iphi watched him go, her face red from giggling. "What's so funny?" A familiar voice behind her called, causing her to jump.  
  
"Lee! Oh, nothing, just Snape."  
  
Lee adjusted his tie. "I never thought anyone could think of Sleazy-Snape as funny, or even attractive for that matter. You and your insane friend are definitely a rare breed."  
  
"Not as rare as you think," Iphi quipped. "So what are you doing out here? I thought the Terrible Twosome was forbidding our relationship."  
  
Lee scratched his dredlocked head. "Yeah, well, those two can be jerks sometimes. I mean what kind of friends would they be if they shun because they don't like my girlfriend?"  
  
Iphi gasped. "I'm your girlfriend!?"  
  
Lee shrugged and smiled shyly, "I guess."  
  
Iphi practically jumped in his arms. "Ooh, that's so cool! So, Boyfriend, what's the first block you have free? We could meet in the library and have an intellectual discussion, wink wink."   
  
Lee's brilliant, white smiles widened. "It's a date." 

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stop smiling, Rimmer."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"This is supposed to be a punishment, not a picnic."  
  
Snape and Severa stood on opposite sides of a cauldron at the front of the room. He handed her the ingredients and she took them gladly. "What can I say? You and me alone in a room together, it's like a dream come true!"  
  
"Miss Rimmer!' Snape snapped. "I am getting quite tired of your insistent flirtations. The very notion of the two of us is ridiculous. Your immature romantic ideals make me question how really intelligent you are."  
  
Severa's face did darken. Her lips pursed as they always did when she was upset and tried to control her anger. "Most men would be flattered if a young girl was infatuated with them."  
  
"If you haven't noticed, I'm not like must men."  
  
Severa smiled again. "I have noticed."  
  
Snape took a deep breath. His irritation was reaching a breaking point. "I don't want to hear another word from you for the rest of the evening, Miss Rimmer. If you decide to ignore this suggestion I will recommend your expulsion." Severa opened her mouth, but before she could protest, "I am serious Miss Rimmer. No more."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Severa's private lessons were far less fun and interesting. She felt the full effects of Binns monotone without an Iphigenia to pass notes too. Several times she found herself nodding off, and noticed that Binns never broke in his lecture nor looked up to see that he was losing his audience. McGonagall looked harsher than ever. Sev felt small under the older witch's watchful eye. It was no secret that the Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry extended beyond the students. McGonagall felt that one of her own was greatly damaged and wanted the perpetrator severely punished. And Severa thought only Snape had a desire to see members of the opposing house expelled. Severa knew McGonagall was giving her more work than she gave to her regular classes.  
  
After three days, Severa felt she was going insane. "You can never go where you already are," she told herself as she peeked out of her "cell's" door. She didn't think there were any spells to warn of her absence. Snape seemed to be relying on good faith. She chuckled to herself. "Too bad, sweet heart, guess I'm not as loyal to you as one would think, for loyalty is friends is much greater indeed." She crept out of the door, passed Snape's chambers. Making it that far she finally allowed herself to breath. She was in the clear so far.   
  
After a couple more careful steps, she decided to make a run for it. The faster she got to the Slytherin house, the better. Rounding a corner she crashed into some one. "Bugger!" She cried out as her head hit the floor.   
  
"Quiet!" A young male voice hissed at her.  
  
She sat up and squinted to see the other person sneaking out at night. "Potter?!" She whispered loudly.  
  
"I said, quiet!" You want to get us both into trouble?  
  
Sev glared at him. "What the hell are you doing this time of the night?"  
  
"The same could be said of you! Aren't you suppose be in a straight jacket?"  
  
Sev stood, brushing herself off. "Okay, look, neither of us saw each other. This never happened. I don't report you, you don't tell anybody about me."  
  
"I thought Slyths didn't make deals with Gryffs."  
  
"If it's in their best interest and to keep their arse out of a sling, they will. Now shake on it."  
  
"How do I know you're not hiding a knife up your sleeve or something."  
  
Severa was getting sick of arguing with the twerp. "You wanna frisk me or something, kid?" Harry expression turned to shock and confusing. "No? Then let me pass, and you can go off and have another little adventure or find out some great secret of Hogwarts or whatever it is you do that keeps stealing the House cup away from Slytherin."  
  
"Fine." Severa was finally alone again. So much for getting there quickly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Iphi could feel herself being shook violently. "Oh, Lee not now." She mumbled in her sleep.  
  
"Oh, that is so gross," said a voice that was definitely not her boyfriend's.  
  
Iphi sat up with a start, and stared at the girl sitting on the edge of her bed. "Sev! What are doing here?"  
  
Sev huffed. "I make all this trouble to come and see you, and this is the kind of greeting I get!"  
  
Iphi's eyes were wide with panic. "Sev, what if your caught up here? What if Snape checks your room and you're missing? You're arse would be gone faster than you can say expulsion!"  
  
Severa forced Iphi over to make herself more comfortable. "Yeah, yeah. I've heard all this expulsion bull shit before. I'm too clever to let it happen!"  
  
"Stop being so arrogant! It will and see where it will get you! No where!"  
  
"Shhh! Keep your voice down! You're the one who's all concerned about getting caught!"  
  
"Oh my God! I can get expelled for harbouring a fugitive!"  
  
Severa groaned and got off the bed. She crossed the room and plucked a picture off her Shrine to Alan Rickman. She was deprived of her favourite's presence way to long. "So, what's with you and Mr. Jordan? You haven't become one of those disgusting couples making out in the dark corners of Library are you?" Iphi's grin betrayed the answer. "Ah, smeg! This is intolerable! I leave alone for three days and you become the Gryffindor bicycle."  
  
Iphi stood and confronted her friend. "Hey, I resent that! And I leave you alone for five minutes and you stab some one!"  
  
Sev glanced out the window and saw the first sign of dawn. "Shit, I better get going,"  
  
"Wait! You just got here!" If there was one thing Severa loved about Iphigenia, it was her quick mood-swings.   
  
"Don't worry. It's only a few more days more!"  
  
"But you have to apologise to Fred by then!"  
  
Severa's parting words before sweeping out of the dorm room were, "We'll see about that." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape was ready to knock on Severa's door when it swung open and hit him in the nose. Out rushed Severa Rimmer, a bag slung over her back. "Thanks for the room and board, Prof.," She said as she walked past him.  
  
Snape casually hooked a finger through one of her necklaces as she went by. After a couple more steps it stopped her in her tracks, slightly choking her. "I think, Miss Rimmer, there is still one matter we have to take care of."  
  
She didn't budge from where she was stopped. "Oh, Professor, it will be so degrading!"  
  
"Time to prioritize, Miss Rimmer. What's more important: You're pride or finishing school so you will succeed in life?"  
  
"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer!"  
  
Snape smirked. "Good." He tugged on his little leash for her forcing her to follow him. He led her to McGonagall's classroom. There sat the woman herself and Fred Weasely.  
  
Snape let go of the necklace, but grabbed her shoulders, planting her to the floor and forcing her to face Fred. "Get this over and done with, and make all our lives a little easier," he growled in her ear.  
  
Fred stood as well, hands behind his back, expectant. Severa lifted her chin, though Fred was taller than her she wanted to create the illusion of her being above him. "I apologise for stabbing your hand, it was wrong of me," she said stiffly and not without a little twitch in her eyes.  
  
Fred, looking defiant at first said, "You are forgiven." Then he smiled at her and winked. Severa wrinkled her nose in disgust.  
  
"Thank you Miss Rimmer, Mr. Weasely," McGonagall said.  
  
"Report to your dorm room, Miss Rimmer," was Snape's final order.   
  
"With pleasure, sir!" She darted off, especially since Fred was wriggling his eyebrows at her before she turned to leave and she felt very nauseated.


	7. VII

_A/N: This chapter is another containing the ghost of Quirrell as he appears in the half-sister story "Redemption" by Normandie M. This also contains the inspiration for this story, a little song. Cheers and Happy B-day to Iphi!_

"I really don't think so girls."  
  
Iphi shrugged as to say, 'to each his own', but Severa was more persistent. "Oh, come on, Will. I'm emceeing and Iphi's gonna sing!" Severa took her most I'm-no-taking-"no"-for-an-answer stance.  
  
Wilton Quirrell sighed, grasping for a way out. "Well... it's more just a Slytherin event, I'd be out of place."  
  
"Right," Iphi offered, "Lee can't come, so why should you get a guest?"  
  
Severa shot an evil glance at Iphi then turned back to the ghost. "It's not like my darling will mind."  
  
Will raised an eyebrow, "Your 'darling'?"  
  
Iphi rolled her eyes. "Her new little name for Snape. She never calls him that to his face. mind you."  
  
"I can imagine," Will muttered. He looked at Severa again who was giving him the full extent of her wide slate-blue eyes and hopeful smile. He sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll see if I can make it."  
  
"Great!" Severa gave her transparent friend a swift hug, grabbed Iphi by the arm and raced back to the Slytherin Lair. 

The Slytherin common had been turned into a make-shift theatre. A few long tables were pushed together to make a stage with a stack of books serving as its staircase. The room's chairs were original placed in a semicircle around the stage to give the place the feel of a thrust theatre. Sadly, as spectators came in, they moved the chairs to places that suited _them_.   
  
Severa scowled when she saw what the other Slyths did to her hard work, but flashed the biggest, cheesiest, quiz-show-host, smile as she jumped up on the tabletops. Her emcee costume consisted of a silly derby placed crooked on her head, and a cane she twirled. Sev banged the cane on the "stage" to quiet the spectators. "Mon Heir, madam and monsieurs, ladies unt gentlemen, Welcome to The Twelfth Annual Slytherin Talent Show!"  
  
"Get off the stage!" shouted a boy in the back. "Booo! You suck, Rimmer!"  
  
"Shut up, Malfoy!" Severa shouted back. "You're just upset because you weren't allowed to participate and show off your only talent. But believe me when I say that no one here wishes to watch you wank on stage."  
  
A collective "Oooh" came from the rest of the Slyths. Severa cocked an eyebrow and smirked. Draco mumbled something, but frankly everyone stopped paying attention to him.  
  
"Our fist young talent," Severa continued, "is Blaise, or should I say 'Blaze', Zambini and her batons from hell!"  
  
Severa hopped off the stage as Blaise marched on with flaming batons. She turned, flipped, and caught them every time. Her routine was going really well. Severa glanced over at the doorway and spotted her reluctant ghost trying to look inconspicuous. She smiled and walked over to him.   
  
"I can't believe this being allowed," Wilton gaped, "she could drop one and ruin everything!"  
  
"Glad you made it," Severa responded.  
  
"Well," He said, still following Blaise's batons with concern, "you can be very manipulative when you have your mind set."  
  
Severa smiled. "A talent shared by all Slytherin." She noticed Blaise's routine coming to an end, as the girl blew out her batons and bowed to the cheering crowd. "Must go!" Severa applauded as she came back on stage and Blaise left. "Thank you Miss Zambini!"   
  
The next routine was a slapstick comedy act by Crabbe and Goyle. Well, at least everyone assumed it was a comedy act, because basically it wasn't all that funny. If they wanted to see two big dumb guys slap each other around they just have to piss off a couple Hufflepuffs. Of course one smart ass decided to show case his wonderful ability to play the kazoo through his nose. Thankfully the one following that was a real musician. Arwynna, a sixth year, played a beautiful violin piece.   
  
Severa announced the next performance with pride. "Now we will sample the delights offered by our song bird, Iphigenia Lister!"   
  
Iphi came out in a periwinkle gown, with a slit up the left leg. Some one in the crowd was cat calling her. She glared into the audience to find that the person doing it was Severa herself. "Woo Hoo! Take it off, baby!"  
  
Iphi sighed and shook her head. "I would like to dedicate this song to all the princes in this world who are _not_ pretty boys! More like the brooding ones in gothic castles. Like a certain some one I know...." She got all dreamy. Everyone looked at each other. Severa giggled, knowing that even though Iph has a boyfriend, she wasn't over Snape.  
  
"Get on with it!" Some one shouted, taking Iphi out of her daze.  
  
"Sorry." She took a deep breath and sung in her sultry alto:  
  
Some day my prince will come  
Some day we'll meet again  
And away to his castle we'll go  
To be happy forever I know  
Some day when spring is here  
We'll find our love anew  
And the birds will sing  
And wedding bells will ring  
Some day when my dreams come true"  
  
She ended the song and looked at the crowd. Some actually had tears in their eye, the rest looked as if they wanted to gag. Iphi bowed low, and Sev raised an eyebrow as her friend showed a little too much cleavage.  
  
The last act of the day was another Slytherin sixth year, Rhi, reciting an odd poem she wrote. That done, Severa hopped up on the tables for the last time that night, her red notebook in tow. Iphi raised an eyebrow. It was _THE_ Red Notebook. The notebook Severa secretly scribbled in. Every time Iphi would inquire after its contents Sev would just smile and say, "It's a surprise." The notebook Severa was opening on stage.  
  
"For our finale, the emcee would like to show off her talent. I have here a song I wrote for my dearest friend, and best roommate anyone could have for seven years." Iphi groaned. It may sound touching, but knowing the blonde, Severa was about to embarrass the hell out of her. Severa cleared her throat. "Ladies and gentlemen you are about to witness the world premiere of my song, set to the tune of 'Blue Moon', 'Red Moon':  
  
Red moon  
You saw me standing alone  
Without my bamboon heart  
Without Sir Derek as my own  
Red Moon  
You know just what I was there for  
You heard me speaking Latin for  
Someone who couldn't understand me  
  
And then the Orangutans appeared before me  
They were rabid and tried to control my mind  
I heard Severa say, 'You are crazy'  
And when I looked, the moon was my behind!  
  
Red Moon  
Now I'm no longer a Prep  
With Snape in my heart  
With my ferret I named Steve!"  
  
Severa finished to a gale of laughter. Even Iphi had to laugh at the nonsense created at her expense. Severa sat down on the tabletops and watched the Slytherins scatter now that the show was over. Iphi sat next her as the blonde took off her derby and hung it on her cane. Looking towards the door, she frowned noticing the Quirell had already made himself scarce.  
  
"Bravo ladies," said a familiar baritone from the shadows of the doorway. The two girls jumped and turned wide-eyed to see their head of house emerge from said shadows. "Especially that last song. It was truly...inspired, Miss Rimmer."  
  
Iphi went bright scarlet and ran up the stairs to her dorm. Severa turned to Snape with a rueful smile. "Uh, sir, didn't think you'd come."  
  
"Nonsense, I take interest in my students' extra curricular activities. But seeing what yours and Miss Lister's are, I think I need to assign more homework."  
  
Severa's eyes widened. She had every mind to call him a heartless bastard right there, but instead she stood. 'If you would excuse me, sir, I better go make sure Iphi hasn't passed out from hyperventilating." With that she ran up to meet her friend.  
  
Luckily, Iphi had not passed out. She was just sitting on her bed, face in her hands. "I can't believe that. I cannot believe he was there the entire time you sung that ridiculous song!"  
  
"Well," Severa scoffed, hands on her hips, "no more ridiculous than that piece of sap you belted out!"  
  
"Oh God, I won't be able to look him in the eye again."  
  
Severa laughed. "Yeah, as if it's his eyes you're always staring at."  
  
"Ugh!" Iphi threw a pillow at Sev, "Don't be gross!"  
  
Their embarrassment forgotten, the two eighteen-year-olds had another fight to the death with their pillows.


	8. VIII

_Disclaimer: More pretainings to Normandie M's "Redemption", in fact this contains spoilers for it. So if you haven't read it and plan to, do that first.  
So, these characters belong to Normandie: Varina, Julius, Atticus, Gregori, Seraphim and Mephistopholes. Draco speaking Latin is from the mind of Normandie as well. Iphi speaking Latin, well she does. Right then. _

~*~*~*~*~

Iphi woke to a quiet dorm room the first day of the Easter Holidays. She had to admit that she was jealous of Severa. Sev was invited to attend Professor Sinistra's wedding at Snape Manor.   
Snape Manor! That lucky little bitch was going to be able to spend a week at Snape's home. "Don't worry," Sev had said as she packed, "I'll send you an owl every chance I get with detailed maps of the place and specific instructions on how to get into his bedroom. That'll be easy. The hard part is getting into his bed!" Sev chuckled and snapped her chest shut. Iphi had rolled her eyes, no doubt in her mind Sev would at least try.  
  
Now Iphi wondered what she was going to do with herself. That was an easy one, she realised. She'd be doing something with Lee. She got dressed and rushed off to breakfast. Since there were few students left over the holiday, interhouse dining was more lenient. She found Lee there, sitting by himself. Good, no twin fireflies around. She slid in next to him. "Hi," she grinned.  
  
"Hi!" He said through a mouthful of toast.  
  
"So," she asked, still grinning, "What's your plans for the day?"  
  
Lee shrugged. "Dunne. I think Greed and Forge said something about doing more snooping since so many teachers are gone for Professor Sinistra's wedding."  
  
"Oh" Iphi said sullenly.  
  
"But," Lee continued, "I'm not always up to their pranks...I mean if you had something in mind..."  
  
Iphi shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, I was just thinking I ought to spend some time in the library, get a couple of books to occupy me. I like spending time in the library, don't you?"  
  
"Nah, I'm not much of a reader."  
  
Iphi growled in frustration. "You know Lee," she said pointedly, "my favourite places to read are those nice quiet corners where no one disturbs you."  
  
Finally Lee's eyes widened slightly with understanding, but before he could speak two of those disturbances that could be avoided in the dark corners of the library sat down at the table; one next to Iphi, one next to Lee.  
  
"Good morrow Turtle-Doves," George said, grabbing a croissant.  
  
"And how's are favourite couple we love to hate?" Fred added.  
  
Iphi glowered and silently wished she could hex them both without getting into trouble. Lee just smiled at them and shrugged. "You know, coupley things: trading love letters, holding hands under the table, talking in silly cooing fashion."  
  
The twin's faces twisted in disgust. Iphi sighed wishing her and Lee were doing those things. She smiled fantasizing about getting a surprise box of chocolates with a little card attached. Iphi sighed again. Then George changed the subject.  
  
"So, I hear your pal's gone to Sinistra's wedding."  
  
"Percy's going," Fred continued, "I warned him about a certain blonde who has a certain blood thirst for red-heads." He waved his left hand revealing the thin pale line of scar tissue on his palm. Iphi was slightly shocked. She didn't realise that Severa's knife had completely gone through his hand. Ouch. The sympathy was fleeting as she tried to ignore the rest of their jibes.  
  
George shook his head. "You know, Snape must really be bonkers letting Rimmer stay at his place for a week. She no doubt will do her damnedest to answer the eternal question: Boxers or Briefs?"  
  
Iphi couldn't help herself. She laughed out loud. She had no doubts indeed Severa would be snooping through Snape's bureau to find out exactly that. Lee and the twins though were staring at her. Never before had Iphigenia laughed at anything Fred or George ever said. She caught her breath and noticed their looks. "What?"  
  
Fred leaned back and laced his fingers together behind his head. "You know, if Severa ever wondered that about me, I'd be more than happy to show her."  
  
Iphi narrowed her eyes. "What's that suggesting?"  
  
"I think," George intervened, "it means that my dear brother would enjoy any reason to take his trousers off, sometimes he doesn't need a reason!"  
  
They all laughed.  
  
After breakfast, Iphi and Lee were walking to the library while the twins ran off to make mischief. "I'm glad they finally warmed to you," Lee was saying.  
  
"The Weasley twins? I hardly think so," Iphi snorted.  
  
"Really. They're joking around with you and all. And I think Fred may fancy your friend."  
  
That made Iphi really laugh. "Need I remind you that Fred's hand was purposely impaled by the girl you claim he fancies?"  
  
Lee shrugged. "Don't ask me to figure how the mind or heart of a Weasley works. He's stopped complaining all together about having to sit next her in class."  
  
"That's because they've learnt to ignore each other."  
  
Lee shrugged again. "Maybe." They were at the library doors, and Lee graciously opened one for Iphi. "My Lady."  
  
Iphi giggled. "I wonder if Madame Pince has any idea that she's running the primo make-out spot in Hogwarts." 

That night, Iphi got her first letter from Severa.  
  
_Dear Iphi,   
What a day! My God, Snape's place is gigantic, gorgeous, and so Goth! (ooh, I'm alliterative). I got to meet some of Snape's family as well. Let's see, he has an older sister, Varina. She's very elegant and matronly. She has a son, Atticus. Darling little boy, clever as a button and cute as one, too. He'd be coming to Hogwarts next year. There's also Snape's uncle, Gregori. Kinda creepy, he seems to be a bit of a seer type.   
  
Well, my room is HUGE. I think ten people could fit in my bed. It's fabulous. Though I have a sneaking suspicion that he put me in the bedroom furthest away from his.   
  
And OOH! He has kitties! Yes, Professor Severus Snape: Cat Owner. There's a white one named Seraphim (which I may add seemed to take a liking to me) and a black one named Mephistopheles. Oh, they're so cute! Though Snape looked slightly disturbed one I referred to them as such.  
  
Well better be off, It's investigation time. Hmm..I'd suspect Snape locked and put a couple spells on his door to keep me out. But I wasn't put into Slytherin for nothing; I'll find a way.   
  
-Sevvie _  
  
"Boxers or briefs," Iphi mumbled to herself. 

Spending quality time with her boyfriend was great, but sometimes Iphi appreciated having some time apart. Lee made plans with the Twins for the day, which gave Iphi time to actually check out a couple books from the Library. She was just on her way back, carrying her Runes textbook and a nicely sized one about Architecture in ancient Greece when she ran into her Runes teacher, one Professor Healthy.  
  
Her relationship with Healthy was certainly an interesting one to say the least. She had the feeling that during class, he was actually flirting with her. Of course, Iphi responded in the way that any self-respecting young lady would: She flirted right back. It was very subtle, playful, and something Iphi never told Severa about. She could just imagine the remarks the blonde would make at her expense. Not that Healthy had anything on Snape in the looks and brooding department (which she loved), she would always ogle Snape for as long as she could, Healthy was just for fun, if not a little pervy.  
  
"Well hello, Iphigenia," Healthy smiled.  
  
"Professor," Iphi smiled right back.  
  
Healthy noticed her books. "Keeping up with your studies? Good girl." Iphi actually felt a slight blush come on. He took her Rune textbook from her and started flipping through it. "I suppose you wouldn't mind a little pop quiz to make sure you're keeping well oiled."  
  
Iphi shook her head to say that she didn't mind a little test at all. He handed the book back to her, page opened to a poem. "You want me to translate it?"  
  
"No, just read it, make sure you remember your pronunciation and all that."  
  
"Okay." Iphi knitted her brow, read the poem a bit slowly but surely. She finished the last line and looked up at him. He was smiling.  
  
"That was absolutely perfect. I'm very satisfied with your work." And with that he continued on his way.  
  
It wasn't till later that day Iphi thought about the poem again. She went through the words she read aloud in her mind and pieced together the translation... It was some sort of erotic love poem! If anyone was paying attention to her in common room. they would have seen her mouth drop open and her eyes wide with disbelief and horror.  
  
She didn't have that much time to dwell on it though. It was then that she got her next letter from Severa.  
  
_Dearest Iphi, (map enclosed)  
  
Ha ha! I did it! I ventured forth into the forbidden realm of Snape's bedchamber (enemies of the heir truly beware with this one). Well, just as I expected it was heavily locked. But I had an idea: His bedroom windows! While everyone else was inside, I snuck out and counted the windows and balconies to figure out which one was Snape's. Using a simple self-levitation spell, I got myself up on the balcony. The windows were locked, but nothing a little _Alohomora _couldn't solve. Seriously, with a hormone-ridden, madly in love, teenage girl on the premises, you'd think his security would have been a little tighter. So much for that.  
  
Well, the included map gives you the basic layout of his room (if you can interpret my shoddy drawing abilities). There's his bed, a side table or two, and a couple gargoyle statues. I'm pretty sure that door to the north has to be the bathroom, but I think I shall save that for another day. The furniture is made of some sort of dark wood, mahogany maybe? Surprised me really. I suspected everything was going to be marble or some sort of cold stone. It fits his personality more. His bed must be able to fit 15 people compared to my 10. The sheets are black, looks very comfy. Almost had half a mid to curl up on it and just take in his scent for a moment, but then I figured I'd might accidentally fall asleep there and wouldn't that be an awkward situation? Hmm...wish I brought my camera, but that'd be almost a little too stalkerish wouldn't it?  
  
Missing you,  
Severa  
  
P.S. boxers, black, silk_

Iphi was bored. She started thinking that maybe her and Lee were spending too much time out of each other's company. Just one of the troubles of dating outside one's house she supposed. All things considered, given her choices within Slytherin, she was better off with a guy from another house. She glanced around the common room, looking at the male Slyths. Not the most attractive bunch, nor the most attentive of boyfriends she had come to learn. She also had a feeling a good few of them may have been gay. She couldn't help but laugh since that last thought crossed her mind just as her survey took her to the corner where Draco was.   
  
Draco was looking suspicious. Well, when didn't her look like that? He suddenly glanced up and spotted Iphi looking in his direction. He scowled at her and went back to talking to Crabbe and Goyle. Well, looked like Iphi found her entertainment: Bugging Malfoy.  
  
She waltzed right over to the little group and smiled at him. "Salve puer molestus."  
  
Draco glared at her and responded harshly, "Discede."  
  
Iphi tutted. "So rude to your own housemate. What you up to?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
Iphi smirked and decided to address Draco's minions, "Salvete." Crabbe and Goyle looked up at her confused. Iphi laughed. "See you haven't bothered teaching the staff the mother tongue. Such a shame really, that the only Latin most wizards know is the little spells taught in class, and never bother to study it further."  
  
"Yes, a shame. But clearly, you still don't understand it. _Discede_."  
  
Iphi sighed. "Very well. Valete." Iphi walked away a little happier knowing she bothered the bugger. She was even in a better mood when an owl flew in and dropped another letter from Severa into her hands.  
  
_Iphi,   
  
Gah! one more day till the wedding! Rehearsal was tonight. Finally got to meet Sinistra's betrothed, Julius (gag gag). Lord what a jerk. It's so sad watching Wilton. He's so blue looking all the time (though I suppose "clear" would be more accurate. ha ha hee). I mean, it must be torture for him! I know I'd be all tears and broken heart if I was sitting around waiting around for the one I loved getting married to some one other than me. If I was at Snape's wedding, and the guy goes "If any one here has any reason for these two to not be joined blah blah blah" I'd stand up on my seat and yell, "I LOVE HIM!" or to really put things to halt I'd shout, "I'M HAVING HIS BABY!!". Hmm, wonder if I should do something like that for Wilton's sake. Wish there was something I could do to make him feel better (no dirty thoughts, you).   
  
Oh, there was a karaoke machine! The Vicar brought it (strange guy). Had a jolly time going up there and singing "On My Own" from_ Les Miserables _hoping that it would in some way move Snape. No such luck. Damn.   
  
Can't find my notebook. Better go look for it. See you soon!  
  
Love,  
Sevvie_

Iphi knew she was alienating herself from the other Slyths by spending time with three notorious Gryffindors (though two of them were hardly by choice). She really didn't care. Besides, it was so fun getting her housemates ticked-off.   
  
"I've heard from Percy," George was saying at lunch, outside on a nice spring day.  
  
"What?" Fred's eyes widened in mock surprise. "You mean a certain young lady, who shall not be named out of respect for current company, hasn't given into her primal urges and stabbed him in the heart?"  
  
Iphi shrugged. "Well, I suppose not. I'd know because if she has gone on a stabbing spree she would have bragged about it in one her letters."  
  
"God, she's twisted," George muttered.  
  
Fred was looking at his scarred hand again with...well, Iphi wasn't sire how to interpret his expression. George noticed it too but just rolled his eyes. Iphi then raised a quizzical eyebrow at Lee. He just scratched his locks and gave her a 'told-you-so' look. Iphi shook her head, not willing to believe that Fred was now pining after the girl he gladly refers to as "Psycho", "Sadistic" and other adjectives of the sort.  
  
Iphi got up and headed back to the castle with a quick kiss with Lee and a couple "Ewes" from the twins. She wanted to read more on that book about Grecian architecture. She was just entering the building when she heard other footfalls on the flagstones behind her. She turned, it was Fred, a little flushed face from trying to catch up to her. "Hi," he said.  
  
"Yeas?"  
  
"Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone."  
  
"Kooky." Iphi said her words slowly as her mind raced trying to figure out exactly what he had to talk to her about in private.  
  
"So," he started, "you've been hearing from your friend, eh?"  
  
"Yes, she's been writing. And like I said, no mentions of stabbings."  
  
"Oh, no, I. that's just joking around you knows? So, she must be having fun, getting to run around Snape's place."  
  
Iphi nodded. "Seems to be."  
  
"You know," Fred said, rubbing his neck nervously, "this whole Snape thing with her...it's just a bit a fun, right? She can't seriously be in love with him or anything, right? I mean you used to be all into him and now you're dating Lee."  
  
Iphi's eyes widened in horror. _Oh damn, Lee was right._ "Well you know Fred, Sevvie and I are very different people. I mean, where I can appreciate guys of all ages, she really seems to be more into the older crew."  
  
"So, uh, you really don't think that I, I mean she would..."  
  
Iphi for once felt really sorry for him. "Sorry, Fred, I don't think so. But I can't really speak for her, nor can I guarantee that if you had this conversation with her that you'd walk away unscathed." Fred nodded and turned to sulk away. "Wait."  
  
Fred turned. "What?"  
  
"Can I ask why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
Iphi closed her eyes, thinking the question was obvious. "Why you're mooning over the girl that stabbed you and was less than willing to even apologise. Last I checked you hated each other."  
  
Fred thought about for a second. "Well, she's different, ain't she? I mean rather atypical. I really like that. She has a sense of humour, she's smart, no matter how twisted it all is."  
  
"Fred, nothing about her is as twisted as this conversation I'm having right now."  
  
"Right, you're right. Listen, can you do me a favour and don't tell her I said any of this."  
  
She sighed. "Okay Fred. I wouldn't want Sev to die form a heart attack or anything."  
  
Fred smiled ruefully. "Or dying from laughter." And Fred finally went back to join his brother outside.  
  
Iphi let out a long breath. "Wow," was all she managed to make of the situation as she watched the tall redhead walk away.  
  
She still pondered the conversation; still not sure it actually happened, when she reached the common room door. She was just about to say the password when the door came open and out stepped Draco Malfoy. The two scowled at each other, and Iphi gave him a rude gesture behind his back as she stepped to go in.  
  
Up in her room, she found another letter from Severa waiting for her:  
  
_OH MY GOD! Oh, hi Iphi, how's it going? but OH MY GOD! You will not believe what has happened at the wedding. Sinistra said the wrong name! Will! She said Will! Not Julius, Will! as in Wilton Quirrell! The whole assembly was in confusion and shock. But believe me Iphi, I couldn't be happier. Okay, maybe if Snape took in all the love and declared his undying devotion for me I would be happier. Oh well, I'm happy for Will and Sinistra anyway. Oh isn't it wonderful? It ends Happily Ever After after all! ergh...tell anyone I just said that and I will hunt you down.... But isn't it exciting? Oh, it's too much to tell in one letter. I'll tell you all about it when I get back!   
  
Always,  
Severa   
  
P.S. Found my notebook. Well, actually, Snape found it... in his bedroom. Luckily, recent events deterred his mind from being angry with me. Plus, remind me to stop writing "Property of Mrs Severa Rimmer-Snape" on cover of my notebooks for it's a dead give away. _  
  
Iphigenia fell over laughing. Well, from that last part. The rest of it was a little surprising. Seemed like something out of a bad muggle sitcom. Iphi had no doubt she'd hear the whole account once Sevvie got back. If there was one thing Sev knew how to do, it was talk. Figured she had to get in as much reading she could before jabber-jaw got back. 


	9. IX

A/N: After a long hiatus, the Slyth Duo is back! This chapter was greatly inspired by my own midterms week. Share the pain.

CHAPTER IX 

Severa sat cross-legged on her bed, her arithmancy textbook opened in front of her. In her right hand she fuddled with her green quill and trying to resist the urge to jam it into her eye out of frustration. She took a deep breath, closed the book and took her anger out by stabbing the helpless text with her quill instead.

"Die, die! Foul demon spawn from Hell!"

Which only resulted in her quill being severely bent. After the brutal assault, she flung the book across the room, took out her wand, and prepared a flame spell. But at that very moment, Iphi came skipping merrily into the room. Severa quickly hid the wand behind her back and smiled innocently.

Iphi looked at her and narrows her eyes. "What were you doing?"

"Studying for the finals."

"Ah ha, and your books on the floor and bent quill helps you?"

Severa smiled. "Indeed. Speaking of unconventional study habits," she continued, picking up her vile book and Iphi flopped on her bed with a far-away look in her eyes, "where were you for potions today?"

"Oh," Iphi answered lightly, "I was held up at Runes…It's okay, Healthy gave me an excuse and I explained it all to Snape."

"Yeah, but what could possibly take an entire other class period?" Iphi smirked the smirk of illicitness. Severa's face paled all the more than usual and looked sick. "Oh, gods, Iphi you ain't …Iphi?" her roommate didn't respond, Iphi just smiled. Severa mad several small squeaks of surprise before letting loose a torrential string of loud sounds of disgust/disapproval while hopping around the room in a frenzy. "ICK! ICK! Aargh! Eew! Icky, icky. No, WRONG!"

"I think you're overreacting," said Iphi from her bed. "Besides, how many times have we talked about having affairs with professors? I just took the initiative."

Severa kept her distance from the Liverpool native. "Yes, but we were suppose to fantasize about it, not actually do it! I mean if Snape offered I wouldn't say 'no'…But that's completely different!"

Iphi sat up, indignant. "Really, how so?"

Severa ran a hand through her hair. "Well, because it's…it's Healthy! If it…it was I dunno, if say Professor Lupin were still here, I'd understand, insanely jealous, but Healthy? ERGH…I mean, what about Lee?"

Iphi crossed her arms. "And since when did you care about Lee's feelings? He doesn't know, he isn't, and I'm still going to date him."

Severa paced the room, rubbing her eyes, trying to process this. She stopped and looked at her unmade bed. An object sitting on it caught her attention. She crossed the room, expression deadpan, and saying, "I'm greatly upset by this, and when I'm upset…MR. FLIBBLE IS VERY CROSS!" She grabbed the plush penguin and turned its glowing eyes on Iphi. Iphi shrieked, ran out of the room, but Sev and Flibble were close behind.

The chase led them to the common room. Iphi scrambled over chairs and studying Slytherins trying to escape. Sev managed to tackle Iphi and the two girls plus a doll tumbled to the floor.

"LADIES!" A voice barked. They looked up and there was the Slytherin prefect, a sixth year named Adsartha Morrighan, standing over them. "Enough of these antics or I'll report you to Professor Snape, and I think he's getting rather tired of your shenanigans."

Enraged by the younger girl's presumption, Severa sprung off of Iphi, grabbed Adsartha by the hair, and pulled. Other Slyths swarmed around, trying to pull the girls apart. Soon the entire common room was awash in battle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape sat down in his office ready to pour himself a well-deserved day's glass of brandy. "Finally," he mumbled to himself. He took the stopper off the decanter right when Iphigenia burst into his room.

"Professor Snape! Come quick!"

"What is it now?" He asked, disgruntled.

"Big fight in Slytherin commons…you should come before someone gets killed!" She sprinted off back towards the Snake's Den, but Snape took a more casual pace.

When he reached the common room it was as he expected: A turmoil of fists, kicks, and bites, but it all seemed to come from a focal point in the centre of the room. "ENOUGH!" he bellowed, bringing the chaos to a halt. "Cease this at once, all of you. Now get up and line up." Everyone complied with their head of house's demands. He walked the row of them like a general inspecting new cadets. He stopped in front of the all too familiar blonde who was already sporting a bruised eye and cut lip. "Now tell me," he said addressing the group, but kept his eyes fixed on Severa, "who started this?"

As he suspected, all but one person immediately pointed in Severa's direction. Severa pointed at a dormant penguin doll on the floor. Snape sighed. "All of you, back to your studies. Miss Rimmer, with me."

Snape led Severa into the hall outside the common's door, but far enough away so no one could eavesdrop. Snape rubbed his temples as Severa stood there, biting her lip. "Miss Rimmer…_why_?"

"Erm…my violent tendencies?"

"Besides that, Miss Rimmer…"

"Erm…"

"Miss Rimmer, you are drawing to the end of your career here at Hogwarts, why the hell do you insist on messing with it now?"

"Sexual repression has manifested into aggression?'

Snape grimaced. "Dammit, Rimmer."

"Sorry sir, first thought came to mind."

"Just get through these exams, pass them, and may you have a happy rest of your life, but do what you can to stop trying to kill anything that moves"

"I'll take that under advisement."

"See that you do." With that he swept away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iphigenia raced down the hall. She couldn't believe Healthy was almost making her late for her potions final. She skidded into the classroom, relieved to see that Snape wasn't there yet. She sat down next to lee and smiled at him. He replied with his brilliant whites. "Nervous?" he asked her and giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Not at all," she said confidently and gave him a quick kiss. There was a snort form across the room and Iphi turned to see Sevvie shaking her head.

Severa stopped looking at the couple and turned her attention to dusting off her tabletop with the feather of her quill. Irritably, she noticed someone staring at her: Fred. "What?"

"Oh, well, um…"

"Listen, I'm not going to let you cheat off of me. Besides you shouldn't have to worry, Snape'll pass you just to be rid of you and your doppelganger."

"Oh no, it wasn't that. You see Severa…"

At this choice moment, Snape entered the room, made his way to the front, and turned to face the students. "Henceforth there is to be no talking. Anyone caught talking or cheating during the hour will have their exam destroyed, receive no points for it, fail the class, and not graduate. This exam is in two parts. First is a comprehensive. You will mix the potion using the ingredients before you. Secondly is an essay. Discuss why the ingredients react the way they do when combined, and describe the effect it has on the human body if ingested. When you are finished with both parts of the exam, you will place your potion on this shelf at the right wall. The essay section is to be placed on my desk. After you are done, you are free to leave. And may I say that I hope it is the last time I see most of your faces ever again. Time start."

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Severa was finishing up her last sentence for the essay. She completed it with a triumphant period. She looked at the clock and saw there was still twenty minutes left in the hour; there was also an entire backside of her piece of paper that begged to be written on. She looked up at Snape who was pouring over his grade book, and smiled. She turned her essay over to the blank side and wrote:

These seven years 

_Have gone so fast_

_It's hard to think it's_

_All in the past._

_May Seven years more pass_

_May seven more years go,_

_Buy only for you_

_Will my love grow._

_Know that my thoughts_

_Are on you;_

_Know that my heart_

_Is with you._

_Someday I'll return_

_And all will be fine_

_And on that someday_

_I hope you'll be mine._

She signed her name and dotted the 'i' in her last name with a heart. As she stood, so did Iphigenia. Together they placed their potions on the shelf and put their essays on Snape's desk. They stood there until he looked up at them. Together they winked. Severa's left eyelid read "Amo", and to her left, Iphi's eyelid had "Te". Snape blinked a couple times and just jerked his head towards the door, motioning them to go.

The girls scampered off into the hallway and fell down giggling.

"Oh Miss Daughter-of-a-Muggleborn, thank you for ever introducing me to _Indiana Jones_."

"You are welcome my pure blooded friend," she said standing up. "So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

Iphi smirked. "Do you really want to hear about it?"

Severa grimaced. "No, not if it involves the Professor who shall not be named."

"Well then." Iphi smiled and ran off down the hall. Severa gave one last longing look at the potions classroom door and trudged up the stairs.

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_A/N: Slutty!Iphi and Angsty!Sevvie? Truth be told, _Rubida Luna _is coming to a close. The next chapter will more than likely be the last. Not to worry, at the end I'll give you info on sequely goodness!_


	10. X

Extensive Author's Note at the end of the chapter 

_DISCLAIMER: All characters except Sev and Iphi belong to J.K. The middle portion of this chapter (the Conversation dealing with Iphi, Severa, Snape, and Quirrell) is taken from Normandie M's "Redemption" but twisted to take on the girls' POV. _

Chapter X 

Iphi sat at the Slytherin table, done up in her school robes and the little pointy black hat. This was it, this was graduation. The moment she walks in front of the high table, receives her diploma from the Headmaster, she will be a fully-fledged Witch. At the moment, Dumbledore was giving the graduates one final speech about the future, responsibility, etc. Even though it was the same lesson she has been getting her entire life, it was bringing tears to her eyes. She sniffed and looked at Severa. The blonde rested her head in her hand and looked positively bored. Severa glanced at Iphi, saw her tears, and scoffed.

"What?" Iphi whispered, sniffling.

"Why are you being so bloody emotional?"

"Because it's an end of an era! A Crossroads!"

Severa rolled her eyes. "It's nothing more but another stage in life. First stage was before any school. Secondly came primary school, after that we had Hogwarts. No big deal, just one more step on the ladder. Next will be university, we'll graduate from that then we're off making to make our name in the world. I accept the stages as the come and for the next. 'Era' indeed."

Iphi glared. "Has anyone ever told you-"

"Yes, I'm sure they have. Now shush, McGonagall is reading of the names, wouldn't want to miss ours now would we?"

Iphi brushed away the tears from her face. She wanted to look her glowing best as she received her reward for sevens years hard work. She watched her friend turn her attention back to the high table. Iphi couldn't help but notice how Severa's expression saddened when her eyes fell on Snape.

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Severa fidgeted in her seat, waiting for the End of Year feast to officially finish. "What are you so twitchy about?" Iphi asked.

"I want to catch Snape and Will for one last good-bye." She but her lip and watched her two now former teachers stand to leave. "Come on." She said, grabbing Iphi's arm and drug her to intercept the man and the ghost.

Snape saw them approach and smiled. "Miss Lister, Miss Rimmer, congratulations...."  
  


Oh his voice, this would probably be the last moment she'll ever heard voice! But Severa couldn't help but smile at those gorgeous tones no matter how sad she was feeling. Damn, she could feel her face get hot. 

Iphi rolled her eyes at her friend and smiled at Snape. She confidently clasped his hand in an almost businessman like manner.  "It was an unsurmounted honour having you as a teacher, Professor Snape." Severa suppressed a giggle as Iphi used her most mature voice.

 "As it was teaching you, Miss Lister," Snape replied cordially,  "I hope you manage to get that philosophy degree you used to day-dream about in class."  Severa suppressed another giggle as she watched her friend's mouth gape like a fish, the mature posture completely gone.

 "I know more than you think, Miss Lister," he said. "In any case, you're welcome to come back to Hogwarts and discuss what you learn at any time."  
  


Iphi stuttered, "W-Well, thank you, Professor." Then she turned to the ghost of Quirrell. "I would've never thought I'd see you again Professor, but here we are. I hope you and Professor Sinistra will be happy together," she said, once again offering her hand, which he shook.  
  


"Thank you for the sentiments, Miss Lister. You have someone waiting for you," Will said, looking over their shoulders.  
  


Severa and Iphi turned and saw Lee standing in the doorway. Lee waved, and after giving her former professors a brief smile, she dashed off to join her boyfriend. Severa glared at them, but her happy thoughts of Gryffindor skinning were interrupted by her favourite voice.

 "Nice to know that some Slytherins don't bear grudges the way others do." Snape stated.

  
Severa thought that was an odd sentiment coming form him. She turned back and just looked at them: Snape, so gorgeous and Will, so cute and such a good friend. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay where she could be near them forever! Severa felt her heart breaking, and the unshed tears from graduation were pushing their way into the outside world.  She gave into impulse and grabbed both of them into a hug. She could feel Snape squirm at the awkwardness, and even hear the laughter of some underclassmen. She didn't care. She sniffed and backed up a bit to give space. "I...I will miss both of you Professors so much!"

Snape smiled, taking her hand in his. Severa's throat went dry at his touch. "I really wish you wouldn't make such a spectacle of it, Miss-"  
  


"Call me Severa. I'm not your student anymore!"   
  


Snape paused and carefully said it. "Severa..."  
  


She drew in a sharp breath. He said it! Oh to hear him call her by her given name. She wanted to hear him say it again. She didn't care if he never said another word in his entire life!

Snape cleared his throat and asked, "What will you be doing in the future?"  
  


"Potions." she replied quickly. She smiled in the way she did whenever she was having happy stabbing: Happy, but slightly unsettling. "You know, if you need a teaching assistant..."  
  


Snape sighed. "Yes, yes Miss Rimmer," Severa frowned at his already forgetting to use her first name. "You'll be my first choice. Guaranteed if you're more careful around the glassware than you were this year."  
  


Severa frowned again, not liking being reminded of the incident with the lizard potion that turned her hands and arms scaly for a week. "Of course, Professor," she mumbled. 

She lifted her head at the sound of approaching carriages, disappointment spread over her face. She turned back to Wilton and hugged him one last time. "You must promise me that you'll write to me...send an owl...tell me what you're up to and everything with Professor Sinistra."

  
Wilton laughed, "Did you really expect me not to?" he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and she smiled at him warmly. She was so glad for him. He deserved a happy ending/ She turned her attention back to Snape.

"Yes, I'll owl you," Snape interrupted, holding up a hand before she could even ask the question, "Don't you worry about that. Yes, I'll miss you...as annoying as you were." The he pulled her into another quick hug.

Oh, the close contact was torture! "You have no idea, Professor..." she murmured. She gasped and her heart almost forced its way up her pharynx when he did the last thing she'd ever expect the potions master to do. Holding her at arms length, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

   
"I understand that you went through a lot this year Miss Rimmer...if there was a good side to it, it's a very good way of preparing for the real world. Let's see you continue the Salazar's legacy," he said.

Shaking slightly from the effect the touch of his lips on her skin caused, she stepped away from him. She swallowed. "Goodbye Will...Goodbye, Professor." She turned to go, but a thought struck her. "Can't I just call you-"  
  


"Not until you're teaching here." Snape cut in.

  
Severa gave her ghostly friend and disappointed look and finally turned to leave. She figured she ought to leave them with some dramatic, memorable quote, of her own invention or otherwise. But for some reason the only that was going through her head was the silliest thing from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. _What the Hell,_ she thought, _Might as well go with what you got._ She took a deep breath and sang at the top of her voice,  "We are now the Knights who say... 'Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!'"  
  


"Shut up, Severa!" Iphigenia said as she joined her and Lee at the door. As they left, Sev could hear Will's light laughter.   
   
   
 "What was that about?" Lee asked.

Iphi sighed. "Never try to fathom the mind of the demented."

"Speaking of Dementia…" Severa muttered, spotting Fred and George coming their way. The group of them talked idly of summer plans, how though their finals were ad nauseum. All except Fred who walked a little too close to Severa for her liking. When they got outside, Fred tugged on Severa's arm. She immediately recoiled.

"Can I talk to you?" Fred asked.

Sev looked at Iphi, and Iphi actually nodded in encouragement. Sev turned back to Fred in disgust, but said, "Oh, alright," and allowed him to lead her away from the other three.

Severa leaned against a tree and folded her arms. "Make this quick."

Fred ran a hand through his red hair. "Well, there's something I've been wanting to say to you."

"Obviously," she said impatiently.

"Well, you see, the past couple of moths I've been getting fond of you. And I was hoping if over the summer we could do some things together and stuff."

Severa's eyes widened, "Are you asking me out?"

"Yeah."

Then she started laughing. "Oh, congratulations Weasley," she gasped, "for once you managed to amuse me."

"But I'm being serious!"

"I know!" She said, laughing harder, "that's what makes it so bloody hilarious!" Fred's face fell and started turning the shade of his hair. "You're nuttier than I thought! What did you think, impaling your hand is my quirking way of flirting?"

"Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised," he snapped.

Severa sobered and stared at him. "You're the most disturbing boy I have ever met. Good-bye." She stalked back to the carriages, passing George on the way.

"And you're the most disturbing girl I ever met!" Fred called after her. "See? We're perfect!" He pouted as his twin stood next to him.

George smiled smugly. "What did I tell you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On her final trip on the Hogwarts Express Severa smiled weakly at Lee and Iphi who were asleep together on their seat. _Journey's end…_Severa contemplated, and yet there was one more thing she thought needed to be done. She got up and stretched.

As she started for the compartment door, Iphi stirred. "Where are you going?"

"Just some business to take care of."

Iphi smiled. "Severa Rimmer, haven't you learned anything, especially this year?"

"Yeah, I learned not to do anything violent when teachers are close at hand to punish you." And she left.

Iphi muttered something about going to help except that she was too comfortable, and then put her head back on Lee's shoulder.

Severa glanced in compartment after compartment, seeking her prey. She finally found him. "Mafloy," she smiled sweetly, "Come on out here, I need a word or two with you."

Draco sneered at her. "I have nothing to say to you."

"Oh, but I think you should. It's something important to all of Slytherin and especially Hogwarts itself. And leave the goons."

Draco huffed, got up, and followed her out to the hall. "So, what?" he asked.

Severa turned, punched him in the face, and sent him sprawling unconscious on the floor. She dragged his limp body back into the compartment and dumped him at Crabbe's and Goyle's feet. "Have a good summer boys," she winked.

She headed back to her own compartment, singing to herself  "Red Moon".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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_Extensive Author's Note and Thank You:_

_Well, this is the end of "Rubida Luna". Hope you liked it. I must say the concept of a stupid inside- joke story that was only suppose about three chapters got totally blown out of proportion! I was not expecting the feedback that I received and people besides my close friends wanting more. So, here we are, ten chapters and 60+ reviews later! Thanks for all your support!_

_If this story didn't get out of hand, the Girls as characters certainly did. It's amazing how Normandie M's story about the ghost of Quirrell returning to Hogwarts seeking his redemption, became this silly piece's sister story! So, thanks to Normandie for expanding their world!_

_Extra special thanks to Iphigenia, my momma bear, and inspiration for this fic and the song that started it all! This story in all it's fun would not have existed without you!_

_Sequel Information:_

_So, you want more of the Girls? As always, there is "Redemption" by Normandie M (pay me for the pluggery later) and right now it's sequel "Love of Finished Years". In progress is a group of short stories collections that will give tidbits out of the eleven years between "RL"/"Redemption" and "LoFY" and what our heroines have been up to. This collection will be called "Bridges". When certain stories will come up is at random, but will always give where in the timeline it takes place (i.e. Four years after _Rubida Luna _or two years before _Love of Finished Years. _So keep on the look out for them!_

_Peace out!_

_~Severa Evadne Rimmer_


End file.
